5 Reasons Women Don’t Tell

1. They don’t see themselves as “victims”, abused, or in need of intervention. They may be unaware what they are experiencing is intimate partner violence because they don’t experience physical injuries.
2. They may not be ready to accept their reality yet. It’s a lot to admit to yourself, much less another human being. To say it out loud makes it real. They may be in denial. The abuse might be paused or lessened and they believe that will continue to improve and the rest simply go away. They want the relationship, just not the abuse, unable to see how inextricably tied the two are.
3. They are desensitized. Their fear meter has been immobilized. They’ve been here before, and they are still alive. Their mental model is their past experience, not what could happen in the future. They have no reason to believe now will be different, less safe, until it is.
4. They don’t trust you. They are used to keeping secrets, putting up smoke screens. They may fear you will not keep it confidential, that you will disclose to or confront the aggressor and jeopardize their safety, or that you will force them to take action they aren’t ready for.
5. They are in need, they are ready, they are afraid, they trust you, but they don’t understand they have options and what those options are.

© Copyright 2011 Shameless Survivors/Lisette d. Johnson All Rights Reserved

2011 Shameless Survivors